hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
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the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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