he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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