I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize