Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize