last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
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i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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