found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The struggles of a small town man whore
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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