i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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