Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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