Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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