So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
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Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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