I think i peed on brittanys purse
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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