You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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