Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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