So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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