I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize