:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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