I will die if light touches me.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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