He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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