Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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