Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize