haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize