i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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