I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize