Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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