Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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