Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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