im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
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The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
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It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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