I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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