Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
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Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
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It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize