I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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