you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dear god my vagina.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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