Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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