Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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