rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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