hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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