Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize