just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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