one two three fourrrrnication!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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