I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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