I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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