I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
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slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
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I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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