1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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