I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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