Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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