I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
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If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
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I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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