he shaved USA in his pubs
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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