I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it because I queefed?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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