we have officially lost it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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