he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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