i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize